Never Settle for Good Enough

Just as the headline says, never settle for good enough! A number of people I'm sure have done this  at some point in their lives, probably because they've been hurt and they feel like the only way to secure their hearts, is to be with a guy they would probably not have considered before.

In your heart you'll know he is not the guy you really want to be with, he probably doesn't have the major characteristics or personality traits that you are looking for, but you think if you don't like him too much, then you won't get hurt. One of the biggest theories people have lived by is; the one who cares too much, will end up getting hurt, or the one who cares less has the power in the relationship.

That's no way to live your life, what's the point of being with someone if you're not gonna love them with your all and give them your all, it will be a waste of your time and the one whom your with. Getting hurt is inevitable, if you live your life being afraid to get hurt, you will never live, life is spontaneous, that's what makes it awesome.Never settle for something that is good, when you could have something that is great!

You should pick 5 qualities that you look for in a man/woman and don't settle until you get them, life is too short to spend it with someone you don't really love. If through the bad times, you have to question, do i really love this person? then you don't really love them. Love is such a beautiful and great feeling, when you know you know, it is not something that you have to question, if it is then you probably weren't meant to be.

 Too many people settle for just good enough, spend life with someone whom you love perfectly, even with all the imperfections, there is such a thing called the "perfect love" you will know when you've found the right one for you. The whole settling for less also comes from the fear of being alone, some people hate being alone, so they'll be with anyone who will be with them, they always have to be in a relationship.

No judgments here, we were made for each other, it cracks me up sometimes when women are like, " i don't need a man, I'm fine all by myself", stop lying, yes you do. It is nothing to be ashamed about, If you don't need one, then you are going against the natural way of how things should be. God made Adam and then he made Eve, so Adam wouldn't be alone, it's natural to want a man. But it is good to wait for the right one, never settle for good enough, because later down you will regret it.

Why Relationships Fail

There are a couple different reasons why relationships come to an end. The main reasons are a lack of communication, compromise and forgiveness. Communication is a vital part of any relationship. If you feel as if you cannot communicate with your partner about the things that are important to you, because of fear of them getting in a rage, that relationship will be short lived. You cannot be in a relationship with someone whom you are afraid to have a conversation with. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive,but being overly sensitive about certain things a normal person wouldn't get upset about raises red flags. I get that everybody is different in the way they react to things, but there is a universally acceptable behaviour , which determines the people who are crazy and the people who aren't. Everybody should know how to detect what is normal form what is not and i suggest if you detect that something is off in your relationship, evaluate it.

Usually being able to compromise, is a difficult task for people who are selfish. If you love your partner and they ask you to do something, which a normal person would see as being reasonable, it should not be a difficult thing to do. This is how compromising works, you do not go in a relationship doing the same things, or having the same idea about everything, you have to work together in order to be happy. Sometimes you have to stop doing things that your partner wants you to stop doing, or you have to do things that they want you to do, just as long as there is a balance. If your partner tries to control everything you do, you should exit stage left out of that relationship, because in a normal situation somebody who truly cares about you, will allow you to be yourself.

Being able to forgive is probably one of the hardest things that people are faced with. It can be very difficult not to have some hatred in your heart towards someone who has done you wrong, but as long as you hold on to it, you won't be free from it. God is love and being able to forgive comes from him. Its understandable to think that forgiveness won't happen like clock work, because as human beings, we take a while to get over things completely. In order to have a healthy relationship with whomever, forgiveness is a necessity. People who have a problem forgiving, usually end up having a lot of relationship problems, because nobody is perfect and mistakes will happen. The quicker and easier you get over things, the happier you will be.

Can men and Women be "just friends?"

Many people have a different stance on this topic, i personally think men and women can be friends without their being anything sexual between both of them. But some people beg to differ, i think men most of all who do not feel comfortable with their partners having a close relationship with other men, would be the biggest believers of this. You do have some men who can't be friends with women, because they only want one thing, so they keep you as a friend, then when they feel its the right time they make a move on you.

How many of you had a guy friend for as long as you can remember, he never really tried to get with you because you probably always had a boyfriend. But as soon as you and your boyfriend break up or start having problems, he is right there telling you, "you don't deserve this, you should be with a guy who treats you better, you know if you were with me you wouldn't have to worry about getting hurt" and the list goes on.

Some people think no matter what, if a guy is friends with you, he at some point has had thoughts about what it would be like to get with you, which may be true. Some studies have shown that men think about sex 13 times a day, that's a lot, how are you able to focus if you think about it that much jeesh lol. Some women, like myself rather having male friends, because women tend to be catty and they take a longer time to get over things. You have a fight with a dude, he doesn't hold a grudge, with a woman its different. Its like some women don't like to see other women doing well or happy, some people feed off other people's unhappiness.

When you get in a relationship or  you get married I think its a different ball game, I don't think you should have such a close knit relationship with other men, like going out with them, or being up at all times of the night talking with them, in my book, that's a no no. Some people would argue, men don't want to be just friends with beautiful women.

I think having a platonic relationship with a guy can exist but its pretty rare and most the times what do people say, being friends first is always the best way to go.You do have genuine men out there who do just want to be your friend and nothing more, while some just wanna get wit ya.

Why Women are Better at Cheating

Women are better at cheating because they are better at covering their tracks and lying about it. Women have affairs not for the sex, but for an emotional connection. A woman could have an affair for years without slipping up once: she will make sure her lover never calls her at home, texts her or emails her; and when they go out to dinner, they never pay with a credit card, so nothing gets traced back.

Men, on the other hand, have affairs simply for the sex.  They usually get careless half the time that's why most of them get caught.  Because women are emotional beings, when a guy has sex with her, she connects with him emotionally. That's where the problems arise: women can't have sex without emotions getting involved, so then they get a little crazy when a man rejects them, they start calling his cell phone at all times of the night, leaving voice mails like, "If you don't answer your phone, Ima tell your wife".

According to a survey done by infidelity facts in 2006, 1.7 to 3.3 percent of fathers are raising children unknowingly who aren't their own. It also states that, fathers who decide to challenge the paternity of a child are far less likely to be the fathers than the ones who are confident not to challenge it. The fathers who are confident of their child's paternity are not the fathers 1.7 percent of the time. 41 percent of married couples report having an affair; about 36 percent report having affairs with coworkers. 17 percent admit to affairs with a brother or sister-in-law.  That is absolutely terrible, how could a woman know that a child may not be her husband's or boyfriends or whatever and live with that fact?!  Apparently you have several women who have no conscience. . . as they say mommy's baby, daddy's maybe.

Another survey done by infidelity facts shows the times in life when affairs happen the most: 1) After the first year of marriage. Think about it: when you're in a new relationship it's exciting, everything is new; but then this phase dies down. Affairs occurring after the first year of marriage are almost never detected, and are typically just flings. There is no real emotional attachment to the other person and the cheating partner can still feel love for their new husband or wife. Regardless of how or why, if it happens here, the chances of it happening again later on in the relationship have increased substantially. 2) After the first baby.  Children change a relationship no matter how you look at it. And the first child is always more traumatic than the rest. You're stressed out, you don't know how to make them stop crying, all your attention goes to the baby, etc. Its not just you and your husband anymore.  The time you used to spend alone has been cut drastically. Affairs after the first child are brought on by the couples feelings towards each other. 3) The last two stages in life when a person cheats are the 5th to 7th year of marriage and middle age.  These stages are usually when everything has been accomplished.  You have the husband, the kids, the house, the car and the career (and on and on . . .).   You get bored, so you may buy another house or another car, or have another baby; but those things never fix anything.  If you're not happy with your partner anymore, just leave, another baby never fixes anything.  Obviously, if you weren't happy before, another baby only adds more complication.

 The average length of an affair according to infidelity statistics is 2years.  57 percent of men admitted to having an affair in any relationship they've had, while 54 percent of women admitted to it. 78 percent of men admitted they would have an affair, if they knew they wouldn't get caught, as to 68 percent of women. Men may cheat more, but women are way better at it. According to a survey done by Open Mike it proves just this, 25 % of men get caught cheating, opposed to only 14% of women.  Women are more likely to lie about it and not get caught. Society frowns more upon a woman cheating than a man, they are judged more for it, so they have figured out how to hide their affairs more effectively.

How to Keep it Sexy but Classy: Outfits That Will Make Him Say WOW!

Every woman's body is different, its for you to know what type of clothes suits your body type. Like for example a woman with a boxed shaped, would look better in something that isn't too form fitting, or a woman who has a little bit of a tummy would look better in something tight under the breast line then goes off  kinda flowy.

All these looks paired with the right hairdo and shoes can be worn out to dinner with that special someone.

These looks can be worn out to the movies, or out to lunch.

These are more of a casual look, you can wear these out for a stroll in the park, or to grab some icecream

Infatuation vs Love

These two get confused more so by women than by men. You probably met someone who gives you butterflies, you get all excited to be around them,you can't wait until he calls again. Infatuation could be defined as having unrealistic expectations, thinking that everything will always be great, because you overlook things, you give the relationship no time to grow and change, so you expect that it will stay the same. How many have you found a guy you think is absolutely great, a month or 2 passes and you start seeing things in the person that you didn't before and your kinda taken a back.

Love grows and changes, its all about compromise and working together. Ask yourself if you're happy, ask yourself if this is the person that i want to be in a relationship with, because love is a commitment, love is forever. Infatuation is short lived, you probably

 center your whole world around this person and everything around you kinda becomes non-existent. You think you've fallen in love with him, but in fact you've fallen in love with the idea of him, maybe because he has money, or his looks. Then later down you realize you didn't really love him, you thought you did because of all the physical aspects he brought to the relationship. This is infatuation, gets confused a lot with love, it takes a grounded person to distinguish between the two.

You have to be able to evaluate your relationship, ask yourself questions like, do we have a future together? do we have goals together? In love you build a relationship together, its all about change if you can't handle the change then you aren't in-love.Its about trust, hurt, goals,plans,happiness and sadness. So take a step back and ask yourself, do i want to spend the rest of my life with this person? am i in love with him and not the physical things he brings to the relationship? am i happy to be alive when i wake up in the mornings? am i happy this person is in my life? if the answer is yes to  these questions, then I'd say your in love.