The Guy that you just keep going back to

So i was watching the hills and Audrina and Justin Bobby's relationship was so tumultuous, he treated her like crap and she still wanted him, which brings me to this post. A lot of women I'm sure have been faced with this dilemma in their lives, the guy who is just not right for you, but for some reason you just can't leave him alone. You think to yourself, what is it about this guy, that keeps me so entrapped, he doesn't treat you how you're suppose to be treated, you want with your whole being to let him loose, but something always pulls you back in. I think women love to chase, getting a good guy is too easy, so we go for one that's bad, because we want the challenge of being the one who changes them.

You stick with a guy for years, trying to work with all his bad habits, hoping that one day he will love you enough to change, but it never happens, you know why, because change has to come from within, if someone does not want change, he won't change. I'm all for second chances and i have a huge heart, i believe that people can change, but not everybody will change, you have to learn how to separate the two. Hope is a great thing, but common sense has to take a role in it also. 

Some women who have been with their boyfriends for years, think that if they leave  someone else is going to be rewarded for all the blood, sweat and tears they have endured throughout the years with this person. So they hold on, even when a relationship is beyond repair, you have to put you first, and trusting in God is a great thing, sometimes you have to go through things, to get to something even greater. One of the main techniques i have seen men do when they are caught in a lie or cheating, is to automatically make it seem like it's your fault, women tend to be more passive individuals, but nobody could tell me i drove them to cheat, you don't accidentally cheat, it's a conscious choice.

 Women need to stand firm and just let a cheater go, do not let him him make you feel guilty, or try to turn it around on you, or make it seem like that's not what happened. That's another thing I've seen men do, proof is right there in front of their faces and they are telling you that's not what happened. Baffles me every time, how sick in the head are you, to have your other girlfriend standing there with your girlfriend and you deny everything.Mind boggling, But that's what they try to do, they try to manipulate you, because they know if they can get one spec of doubt in your mind, they can bring you back in. Kinda like what a defense team does in a murder trial, if they can create just a little bit of doubt in a jurors mind, they have a chance of a not guilty verdict.

 There are times when a guy may come on to your best friend or friend and she tells you, you then go and ask your boyfriend about it and he tells you: she's just trying to mess things up for us, she's just jealous she wants what we have. What's so sick about this, is that some women actually believe this, the friend you have known for years who has never tried to go against you in anything,who has been there for you through everything, but your boyfriend who you've known for 2 months tells you that, and you believe. 

Its that mind control thing, it's like that one guy, you will just always have feelings for and no matter how shady the stuff is that he does to you, you just can't stay away. I don't know what it is about the guy who won't commit to you, but you keep waiting for him, when deep down you know he won't, it's just that love to chase thing, women won't admit it, but they just love that chase. You love the guy who wants you only when he wants you, but you crave for the day when he will need you and it is that, that keeps you going back.

When is enough, enough in a Relationship?

Many people I'm sure have battled with this, deciding when enough is enough  in their relationship. Different people have different capacities of how much they can take, some can take alot and some give up as soon as the road gets bumpy.  Having the same mistakes happen over and over again in a relationship can be maddening, it makes you feel as if your partner isn't trying,  and sometimes that is just it, they aren't trying.  I think there is so much that any one person can take, and if you feel like you are at your breaking point and you can't see anything changing, it's up to you, to make the decision if you want to leave or stay. I don't like the idea of telling anyone to end their relationship, but i will if i feel the need to, what i will say is, after you have tried everything possible to make it work and you see nothing happening, that would be a very difficult situation to cope with. But at the end of the day it's your life and only you can make the decision to leave or stay.


You've got to have a relationship with yourself and confidence in yourself to know when enough is enough. If you don't value yourself, who will? truth is nobody will get everything they want, it just doesn't happen, fairy tales don't exist, compromising does. You get enough to keep you happy, the scale should be unbalanced when it comes on to you being happy as opposed to being sad in your relationship. You have got to evaluate your life, ask yourself are you happy? are you satisfied? are there things in my life that could be better? communication and being open and honest with your partner does alot for a relationship. When you enter in a relationship you leave the i, me and mine at the door, everything becomes  us, we and ours, some people fail to do this, causing alot of problems in their relationships. They get caught up in self serving things, that affects their relationship in a negative way.


Nobody likes to be treated like they don't matter, or like they aren't important. Alot of things can make a relationship feel like a burden. Being controlling, name- calling, getting mad for everything without having a reason, making the same mistakes over and over again. You have got to ask yourself if your relationship is good or bad. Many times bad relationship can make you feel bitter, or you start to develop a I'm going to show you how it feels attitude and then your relationship get's even worse. Then you end up not wanting to be around your partner. I think when a person has had enough, what else is there to stay for,  you'll start asking yourself, how is being in this relationship benefiting me, I'm being beat down every day, I'm sad everyday, then ultimately their going to leave, there is so much that a human can take, we have a heart and feelings, we know when something is write for us, and when something is wrong, some people just choose to ignore those feelings, follow them, they usually aren't wrong.

Feeling Unappreciated in your Relationship

 Unappreciation can be a deal breaker, when one spouse feels like they are not appreciated in a relationship, they feel like there is nothing left to do but to leave. Women are naturally kind hearted  and we tend to sense what people want, especially in a relationship, that's why we are better at raising children. Now men on the other hand have a hard time doing this, so they have to be told what a woman wants, women tend to get frustrated at this because they don't wanna tell a man how to love them and how they should be treated, they just want them to know. men think women are difficult. But in truth we aren't, we might be a little more complexed than men, but it doesn't take alot to make a good woman happy, like treating her with respect, being faithful, showing her she is appreciated and loved, not that hard men.( treat her how you would want a man to treat your daughter or your mother). Here is one  difference between men and women: a man will want to take a drive or a walk , after an argument, so he can calm down, while a woman, if she walks away, she wants you to come after her and figure it out together. Some women can't comprehend why you wouldn't want to just work it out with the person you love. But that's just the way men are and sometimes that doesn't work in a relationship and if that doesn't work a common ground needs to be met in how to work a argument out.

Have you ever done so much for someone, they tell you thankyou, but you don't really see the appreciation a whole bunch, you only hear it. For me, i would rather you do both, if you say it , but your actions don't quite put that out, it means nothing to me. I think nobody should take feeling like that in a relationship. If you know you're a good person and you know what's in your heart and you have been doing good to your partner, but for some reason that other person doesn't see it. Then i suggest you leave and find someone who will. If all your talking and your trying to make it work goes on deaf ears and you've given everything in you, until you're worn out and no change is being made, find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Maybe a few times in your life you have had a boyfriend, who perhaps liked to snoop through your phone or through your emails or facebook or something, because they have some insecurities deep down in them, that they can't quite get over. then they might see  that you deleted a couple messages, not seeing the contents of the messages, but automatically they think you're doing something, when you have never given them reason to think you were. Then this keeps happening over and over again, and you keep getting accused of things you know you haven't done, it makes you feel like, maybe i should have been doing something, might as well, if I'm going to get blamed for it. Some men even go the distance of going through your computer history, just to monitor what you've been doing. Makes you feel like a caged animal. Nobody wants to be treated like that. If you have never cheated, or flirted or given him any reason not to trust you and he still can't trust you, just know the problem lies within him. 

You gotta say to yourself i deserve better than this, i deserve someone who will appreciate me and all the things i bring to a relationship. Sometimes your head tells you to leave, but your heart is saying hold on, we can try to make it work, or your heart says leave, but your feet won't move, just trying to hold on to something, that just isn't there. People say relationships don't last anymore and i think it's because more women have found their voices, but that's just what i think. On the other hand some people are just vinegar and oil, they tried to mix, but after they already got together, they realized they are just not compatible. Life happens and sometimes you end up with the person you weren't meant to be with, but i guess it leaves you with an example of what NEVER to do again. But hold your head up and keep the faith and some day your happily ever after will happen. Merry Christmas to Everyone and Happy Holidays!

Spouse treats you like crap, you leave, then they want you back.

 Have you ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend who treated you like the dirt under their shoes, then when you wised up and left, they wanted you back? it's a common case, the first explanation for this is, human beings do not like to be left, they would rather do the leaving. In most cases it hurts a lot more when someone leaves you than if you chose to leave them. Humans just have it in their heads that if I do the leaving first "i win!", which is kinda true, you get the bragging rights, but that doesn't mean you were the one feeling less pain. Some people don't want to be in the relationship, but they stay because they don't wanna be the initiator, they feel relieved if the other spouse does it first,  they genuinely don't wanna be the ones doing the hurting. There are others though, if they have a hint that you are going to break up with them, they jump the gun first, all because they wanna be the one to say, " oh i broke up with her first."


 When someone treats you terribly for a while and you keep taking it over and over again, that only means one thing to me, you're condoning the behaviour. If you stay, in their minds they think they can do whatever they want to you and you won't leave, so it shocks them when you finally get the guts to leave. Humans are creatures of habit and we all know habits are hard to break. How many of you have had a cheating boyfriend or girlfriend, or a bf/gf ( yes gf, don't laugh, it happens) who keeps hitting you and every time he/she says they won't do it again, they end up doing it again. You know why, because those things become a part of their personality, it becomes: KEY WORD, a habit.

It is up to you if you're gonna put up with a bad habit, but remember people treat you how you allow them to treat you. Some have been so accustomed to treating people like crap, they don't even realize they're doing it. Take for instance if someone grows up in a environment where being a jerk is all they see and know, what is the likely outcome of them growing up to be a well rounded mannerable individual, not a big percentage. We are products of our society, we grow up doing what we see in most cases. Primary socialization plays a very big part in the early years of a child's life, it forms a big part of their personality and maps out the adult who they will likely become. So some people just don't know any better and they expect you to just lay down like a doormat and take the stepping on, but what i would do is, shock them by leaving and believe they will want you back, but it's up to you to know your worth.

Never Settle for Good Enough

Just as the headline says, never settle for good enough! A number of people I'm sure have done this  at some point in their lives, probably because they've been hurt and they feel like the only way to secure their hearts, is to be with a guy they would probably not have considered before.

In your heart you'll know he is not the guy you really want to be with, he probably doesn't have the major characteristics or personality traits that you are looking for, but you think if you don't like him too much, then you won't get hurt. One of the biggest theories people have lived by is; the one who cares too much, will end up getting hurt, or the one who cares less has the power in the relationship.

That's no way to live your life, what's the point of being with someone if you're not gonna love them with your all and give them your all, it will be a waste of your time and the one whom your with. Getting hurt is inevitable, if you live your life being afraid to get hurt, you will never live, life is spontaneous, that's what makes it awesome.Never settle for something that is good, when you could have something that is great!

You should pick 5 qualities that you look for in a man/woman and don't settle until you get them, life is too short to spend it with someone you don't really love. If through the bad times, you have to question, do i really love this person? then you don't really love them. Love is such a beautiful and great feeling, when you know you know, it is not something that you have to question, if it is then you probably weren't meant to be.

 Too many people settle for just good enough, spend life with someone whom you love perfectly, even with all the imperfections, there is such a thing called the "perfect love" you will know when you've found the right one for you. The whole settling for less also comes from the fear of being alone, some people hate being alone, so they'll be with anyone who will be with them, they always have to be in a relationship.

No judgments here, we were made for each other, it cracks me up sometimes when women are like, " i don't need a man, I'm fine all by myself", stop lying, yes you do. It is nothing to be ashamed about, If you don't need one, then you are going against the natural way of how things should be. God made Adam and then he made Eve, so Adam wouldn't be alone, it's natural to want a man. But it is good to wait for the right one, never settle for good enough, because later down you will regret it.

Why Relationships Fail

There are a couple different reasons why relationships come to an end. The main reasons are a lack of communication, compromise and forgiveness. Communication is a vital part of any relationship. If you feel as if you cannot communicate with your partner about the things that are important to you, because of fear of them getting in a rage, that relationship will be short lived. You cannot be in a relationship with someone whom you are afraid to have a conversation with. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive,but being overly sensitive about certain things a normal person wouldn't get upset about raises red flags. I get that everybody is different in the way they react to things, but there is a universally acceptable behaviour , which determines the people who are crazy and the people who aren't. Everybody should know how to detect what is normal form what is not and i suggest if you detect that something is off in your relationship, evaluate it.

Usually being able to compromise, is a difficult task for people who are selfish. If you love your partner and they ask you to do something, which a normal person would see as being reasonable, it should not be a difficult thing to do. This is how compromising works, you do not go in a relationship doing the same things, or having the same idea about everything, you have to work together in order to be happy. Sometimes you have to stop doing things that your partner wants you to stop doing, or you have to do things that they want you to do, just as long as there is a balance. If your partner tries to control everything you do, you should exit stage left out of that relationship, because in a normal situation somebody who truly cares about you, will allow you to be yourself.

Being able to forgive is probably one of the hardest things that people are faced with. It can be very difficult not to have some hatred in your heart towards someone who has done you wrong, but as long as you hold on to it, you won't be free from it. God is love and being able to forgive comes from him. Its understandable to think that forgiveness won't happen like clock work, because as human beings, we take a while to get over things completely. In order to have a healthy relationship with whomever, forgiveness is a necessity. People who have a problem forgiving, usually end up having a lot of relationship problems, because nobody is perfect and mistakes will happen. The quicker and easier you get over things, the happier you will be.

Can men and Women be "just friends?"

Many people have a different stance on this topic, i personally think men and women can be friends without their being anything sexual between both of them. But some people beg to differ, i think men most of all who do not feel comfortable with their partners having a close relationship with other men, would be the biggest believers of this. You do have some men who can't be friends with women, because they only want one thing, so they keep you as a friend, then when they feel its the right time they make a move on you.

How many of you had a guy friend for as long as you can remember, he never really tried to get with you because you probably always had a boyfriend. But as soon as you and your boyfriend break up or start having problems, he is right there telling you, "you don't deserve this, you should be with a guy who treats you better, you know if you were with me you wouldn't have to worry about getting hurt" and the list goes on.

Some people think no matter what, if a guy is friends with you, he at some point has had thoughts about what it would be like to get with you, which may be true. Some studies have shown that men think about sex 13 times a day, that's a lot, how are you able to focus if you think about it that much jeesh lol. Some women, like myself rather having male friends, because women tend to be catty and they take a longer time to get over things. You have a fight with a dude, he doesn't hold a grudge, with a woman its different. Its like some women don't like to see other women doing well or happy, some people feed off other people's unhappiness.

When you get in a relationship or  you get married I think its a different ball game, I don't think you should have such a close knit relationship with other men, like going out with them, or being up at all times of the night talking with them, in my book, that's a no no. Some people would argue, men don't want to be just friends with beautiful women.

I think having a platonic relationship with a guy can exist but its pretty rare and most the times what do people say, being friends first is always the best way to go.You do have genuine men out there who do just want to be your friend and nothing more, while some just wanna get wit ya.