Feeling Unappreciated in your Relationship

 Unappreciation can be a deal breaker, when one spouse feels like they are not appreciated in a relationship, they feel like there is nothing left to do but to leave. Women are naturally kind hearted  and we tend to sense what people want, especially in a relationship, that's why we are better at raising children. Now men on the other hand have a hard time doing this, so they have to be told what a woman wants, women tend to get frustrated at this because they don't wanna tell a man how to love them and how they should be treated, they just want them to know. men think women are difficult. But in truth we aren't, we might be a little more complexed than men, but it doesn't take alot to make a good woman happy, like treating her with respect, being faithful, showing her she is appreciated and loved, not that hard men.( treat her how you would want a man to treat your daughter or your mother). Here is one  difference between men and women: a man will want to take a drive or a walk , after an argument, so he can calm down, while a woman, if she walks away, she wants you to come after her and figure it out together. Some women can't comprehend why you wouldn't want to just work it out with the person you love. But that's just the way men are and sometimes that doesn't work in a relationship and if that doesn't work a common ground needs to be met in how to work a argument out.

Have you ever done so much for someone, they tell you thankyou, but you don't really see the appreciation a whole bunch, you only hear it. For me, i would rather you do both, if you say it , but your actions don't quite put that out, it means nothing to me. I think nobody should take feeling like that in a relationship. If you know you're a good person and you know what's in your heart and you have been doing good to your partner, but for some reason that other person doesn't see it. Then i suggest you leave and find someone who will. If all your talking and your trying to make it work goes on deaf ears and you've given everything in you, until you're worn out and no change is being made, find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

Maybe a few times in your life you have had a boyfriend, who perhaps liked to snoop through your phone or through your emails or facebook or something, because they have some insecurities deep down in them, that they can't quite get over. then they might see  that you deleted a couple messages, not seeing the contents of the messages, but automatically they think you're doing something, when you have never given them reason to think you were. Then this keeps happening over and over again, and you keep getting accused of things you know you haven't done, it makes you feel like, maybe i should have been doing something, might as well, if I'm going to get blamed for it. Some men even go the distance of going through your computer history, just to monitor what you've been doing. Makes you feel like a caged animal. Nobody wants to be treated like that. If you have never cheated, or flirted or given him any reason not to trust you and he still can't trust you, just know the problem lies within him. 

You gotta say to yourself i deserve better than this, i deserve someone who will appreciate me and all the things i bring to a relationship. Sometimes your head tells you to leave, but your heart is saying hold on, we can try to make it work, or your heart says leave, but your feet won't move, just trying to hold on to something, that just isn't there. People say relationships don't last anymore and i think it's because more women have found their voices, but that's just what i think. On the other hand some people are just vinegar and oil, they tried to mix, but after they already got together, they realized they are just not compatible. Life happens and sometimes you end up with the person you weren't meant to be with, but i guess it leaves you with an example of what NEVER to do again. But hold your head up and keep the faith and some day your happily ever after will happen. Merry Christmas to Everyone and Happy Holidays!

Spouse treats you like crap, you leave, then they want you back.

 Have you ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend who treated you like the dirt under their shoes, then when you wised up and left, they wanted you back? it's a common case, the first explanation for this is, human beings do not like to be left, they would rather do the leaving. In most cases it hurts a lot more when someone leaves you than if you chose to leave them. Humans just have it in their heads that if I do the leaving first "i win!", which is kinda true, you get the bragging rights, but that doesn't mean you were the one feeling less pain. Some people don't want to be in the relationship, but they stay because they don't wanna be the initiator, they feel relieved if the other spouse does it first,  they genuinely don't wanna be the ones doing the hurting. There are others though, if they have a hint that you are going to break up with them, they jump the gun first, all because they wanna be the one to say, " oh i broke up with her first."


 When someone treats you terribly for a while and you keep taking it over and over again, that only means one thing to me, you're condoning the behaviour. If you stay, in their minds they think they can do whatever they want to you and you won't leave, so it shocks them when you finally get the guts to leave. Humans are creatures of habit and we all know habits are hard to break. How many of you have had a cheating boyfriend or girlfriend, or a bf/gf ( yes gf, don't laugh, it happens) who keeps hitting you and every time he/she says they won't do it again, they end up doing it again. You know why, because those things become a part of their personality, it becomes: KEY WORD, a habit.

It is up to you if you're gonna put up with a bad habit, but remember people treat you how you allow them to treat you. Some have been so accustomed to treating people like crap, they don't even realize they're doing it. Take for instance if someone grows up in a environment where being a jerk is all they see and know, what is the likely outcome of them growing up to be a well rounded mannerable individual, not a big percentage. We are products of our society, we grow up doing what we see in most cases. Primary socialization plays a very big part in the early years of a child's life, it forms a big part of their personality and maps out the adult who they will likely become. So some people just don't know any better and they expect you to just lay down like a doormat and take the stepping on, but what i would do is, shock them by leaving and believe they will want you back, but it's up to you to know your worth.