Date Someone who Understands you

This is extremely hard to find. Sometimes it takes years and a lot of dates. One of the key components to finding this type of person is confidence and trusting your gut, you may second guess yourself and over analyze. We all go through this phase in our lives, while you may be confident, failed relationships and sucky dates can make you a bit cynical and hopeless. It's not the end of the world and sometimes you have to go on a million dates before you find the one.

You should always be confident in your approach, it influences how you come off to people. Always trust your intuition it was given to us for a reason, if you think someone isn't right for you, let go of it and move on. I know letting go is not the easiest thing, and something in us called curiosity drives us to want to see if it could work out. If you see things in someone that you would not want in the long haul let it go. Let go of the dead end relationships that only bring you comfort in the now, but has no future.

The problem we face is that we think we are going to find our prince charming  right off the bat, granted some people do, but as we say back home puss and dog nuh have di same luck  meaning maybe this worked for her but it doesn't mean it will work for you. That's just how it is. When you meet someone you should not have to feel like you need to be someone different to make them happy, anybody who deserves to be in your life should accept you flaws and all. They should be man enough or woman enough to handle all your baggage, truth is we all come into relationships with some baggage, some just come with carry ons and others have massive pulleys, if he can't handle it, then honey he is not the one who was meant to love you. It's a harsh reality but we all have to face it.

Sometimes we just don't click with people, you may go out on dates, but didn't call this guy back because he was too nice, or didn't give this girl a call back because there was no chemistry and vice versa. When you're looking for your match sometimes we have to make harsh decisions, do you want to string someone along or waste someone's time, I'm sure you don't and I'm sure you wouldn't want anyone wasting your time. Always try to be upfront and honest, sometimes making decisions in dating isn't easy, but nobody wants to settle for just good enough. Put your focus on men/women that are interested in you and leave the ones who aren't alone. Not everyone will like you and you won't like everyone. Not because you're rejected or your feelings are hurt means you should completely shut down and give up.

Stop blaming the city you live in and look within yourself, maybe why you have been unlucky in love is because of you, maybe you have things you need to fix. Sometimes the problem lies within us, why we end up in toxic relationships and unhealthy dates. Take a step back and figure out what it is that you are doing wrong, or what it is that you are giving off that attracts the same type of men or women.Get help figuring it out if you need to,  realizing we need help sometimes is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength, if you're anything like me, it takes a lot to admit when you need help. Just remember the love of your life won't find you sitting on your couch, you have to put yourself out there.

 You will find someone who understands you, you will realize all those other horrible relationships and bad dates were just practice, so you could understand what real love feels like. You want to find a best friend as well as a lover. Someone who gets you, someone who will never judge you and who will be there for you in your ups and downs.  Someone who understands that you are human and won't try to change you. Just be patient❤

Why do we Hurt the People We Care About

Why do we hurt the ones we care about? Sometimes we're just having a bad day, sometimes we can't explain it. Nobody really ever intentionally wants to hurt someone they care about, but the reality is that it happens and if you're human it makes you feel like crap. One of the biggest blessings in this life is to find someone who understands your ups and downs, because we all have them. While that is no excuse, we aren't perfect and we make mistakes, sometimes some we can't come back from.

We are human and we weren't made perfectly for someone else, it takes hard work, a lot of hard work and dedication, but that's what you do when you care for someone. Often times we tend to see the bad in people  forgetting all the good that's there. I cant emphasize enough, that there are bad people that do bad things and good people that do bad and stupid things. We might not think something we say or do will hurt someone, because maybe it wouldn't hurt you, so you think they won't be hurt by it. The thing to remember is, we are all different, and we all deal with hurt and forgiveness differently, there just needs to be understanding.

Sometimes it's good to take a step back and let the person be hurt and deal with it in their own way instead of trying to fix it right then, then getting mad when they cant just snap out of it. This is something I need to work on and I'm sure many others have this problem. Usually men are fixers and women are listeners, in this case i'm a fixer, because I feel so deeply for people, if I hurt them I want to fix it right away, because I hate seeing people hurt, but what I've realized is sometimes people need time. They won't get over it when you want them to, but they will in their own time. Why we say things sometimes we don't mean, is beyond me, it could be some underlying issue that we don't realize is there. It is never fun when you hurt someone you truly care about and it is never fun getting hurt.

I think sometimes we hurt the people we care about, because they are the ones closest to us and somewhere in our subconscious we think because they care for us, we can lash out on them and they will forgive us. That's not fair for anyone, and is extremely toxic, the sooner you recognize it, the sooner you can fix it. People aren't perfect and we will never be, we are all on a path to recovery and growth. If you ever feel angry write out all your feelings on a piece of paper, just let it all out, it's way better than hurting someone you care for. Words do hurt also.

Sometimes we just have ups and downs, it's apart of life, we take the bad with the good. We all have days when something that wouldn't usually affect us, affects us and we say and do things that we would never usually do. We have different parts to every relationship, different phases, the attraction phase, the getting to know you phase, the first I love you phase and the first real hurt phase, either it will make you or break you, how you handle this will determine where your relationship will go. Show me a relatonship that hasn't experienced some form of hurt and i'll show you two people that don't really care for each other, the one you care about, words and actions carries the most weight.