Here Comes a Fighter

Have you ever been so down in your life and your relationships, that you don't know if you could get any farther down and nothing seems to ever go your way. Until you come to the point where you ask God when is the time gonna come when I don't have to be strong anymore, when is it going to be easy. What we fail to realize is that life is never easy, and the same thing you're facing someone else is probably facing way worse.

We are inclined to be selfish, our first thought is usually going to be about our feelings, and when you're facing your trials it isn't easy to think of someone else that's facing an even bigger trial. They say once you have life you have a chance, but what is life if you feel like you can't catch a break and everywhere you turn it's just sorrow. You wanna be mad at God and you want to scream what did I ever do to deserve all the things I'm going through, you think I'm a good person I try to be good, I don't deserve this. You think my relationship isn't where I want it to be, my life isn't where I want it to be. You wallow in your sorrows, and you turn to things that aren't of God. How then is he suppose to be with you if you turn from him.

You've gotta be a fighter in order to survive in this life, the world is  made of good and evil, sometimes great things happen to you, sometimes bad things happen to you. Our strength is determined by the things we are faced with and how we overcome them. It isn't easy to be a fighter, I can tell you 100% it isn't, I've been a fighter all my life so I can attest to it.But sometimes you break down because the blows of life just become too much, and you feel like God has left you and he is just watching from the sides, just watching you go through all your pain and failing to help. Truth is if you call on him with a sincere heart, he will not forsake you. I thought to myself how do you have people that don't believe in God, how do you not see him in the trees, the flowers the sea and oceans and even in great people, Sometimes someone is such a good person, it just confirms the fact that God is real. What do you rely on for your strength, because if you have hope, you believe in God, because without God nothing is possible. God is hope and without hope we would not be living the lives in which we are meant to live.

One of my favorite stories in the bible is about Job, he was a good man, a faithful man, he was blessed with many riches and then he lost it all. God gave Satan the authority  to tempt Job because he knew Job would stay faithful to him. All his riches were taken away, he was stricken with ailments, he asked God "why me?" because he knew he was such a good person, but he never once cursed God.When he came out of those trials, he was blessed with even more riches than he had before. Life is uncertain and we have a lot of hiccups along the way, We may not get what we want right away, because either we need to be taught something that will help us to build a strong character, or it's not the right time for it to happen. Relationships and life are the hardest things to handle especially if God isn't in it, a family that prays together stays together, it's not just a saying, keep God in your life, and you will see how much better it will be. Life hits you hard sometimes, but can you think back to some of the hardships you faced in your life, then think about what happened to them, they didn't last forever did they? so cheer up buttercup,you're a fighter remember? You may still be going through struggles, but give it to God and worry about it no more, we cannot change the things we can't control.

Learning to Love Yourself Before Loving Someone Else

The best relationship you can have is the one you have with yourself and of course with God, nothing else will make you feel more comfortable with your life and relationships. If you are not secure within yourself, how are you going to be with someone else. The minute we learn to love and own all our flaws is the minute you have embraced your true self. Being alone does not mean that there is something wrong with you, you should take that time out to be comfortable with yourself, learn to be alone, so if you have to, you will have no problem doing so. You might realize that all your relationships have been not so successful and you wonder what the problem is, the truth is some of us are attracted to chaos and drama, and when it doesn't work out we wonder why. You were attracted to someone you knew was not good for you, but you chose to go against your better judgement and your intuition. We have to sometimes look within ourselves to find what the problem is . Insecurities play a big part in the persons we choose to be in a relationship with, we often choose partners that match our level of emotional development.

 Some people are fixers and we seek out people who  need "fixing", because in some weird way, we want to take on something that is a challenge for us, we surround ourselves with these men or women that cause nothing but drama, holding on to hope that some day this person will change, when secretly we love the chaos. You have to establish what purpose you would have if you were not with this person and the drama did not take central focus in your life, you are trying to fix something that was probably damaged from they were a child. Some people don't realize how important primary socialization is to a child. If a baby was left with wolves and monkeys, how do you think the child will grow up acting, like wolves and monkeys. How we are conditioned to think and what we grew up seeing shapes the way we think and the decisions we make in a great way. If you don't fix the problems you have with yourself, you are going to be faced with them in every relationship you have.

THE ONE PERSON YOU CANNOT RUN FROM IS YOURSELF. If God didn't want us to have any negative thoughts, then he would have made us without them, nothing exists without the other, accepting that there is a problem with YOU, is accepting help and happiness into your life. Nobody wants to be around perfection, because it doesn't exist, if you identify yourself as being perfect then there is something you are hiding. Everybody has issues and things they need to work on, it so happens that some are just harder to work on than others, and nothing is wrong with that. You will be  respected more for the things that you admit aren't right that you do, than to try and ignore it or cover it up. Loving yourself is the first step you take, being selfish is OK sometimes, then  identifying the things that need to be fixed within yourself, getting the right help for them and then the healing process. Taking sometime to get to know yourself is a great thing, being someone's wife or girlfriend doesn't make you more relevant, the person that you are does.

The Guy that you just keep going back to

So i was watching the hills and Audrina and Justin Bobby's relationship was so tumultuous, he treated her like crap and she still wanted him, which brings me to this post. A lot of women I'm sure have been faced with this dilemma in their lives, the guy who is just not right for you, but for some reason you just can't leave him alone. You think to yourself, what is it about this guy, that keeps me so entrapped, he doesn't treat you how you're suppose to be treated, you want with your whole being to let him loose, but something always pulls you back in. I think women love to chase, getting a good guy is too easy, so we go for one that's bad, because we want the challenge of being the one who changes them.

You stick with a guy for years, trying to work with all his bad habits, hoping that one day he will love you enough to change, but it never happens, you know why, because change has to come from within, if someone does not want change, he won't change. I'm all for second chances and i have a huge heart, i believe that people can change, but not everybody will change, you have to learn how to separate the two. Hope is a great thing, but common sense has to take a role in it also. 

Some women who have been with their boyfriends for years, think that if they leave  someone else is going to be rewarded for all the blood, sweat and tears they have endured throughout the years with this person. So they hold on, even when a relationship is beyond repair, you have to put you first, and trusting in God is a great thing, sometimes you have to go through things, to get to something even greater. One of the main techniques i have seen men do when they are caught in a lie or cheating, is to automatically make it seem like it's your fault, women tend to be more passive individuals, but nobody could tell me i drove them to cheat, you don't accidentally cheat, it's a conscious choice.

 Women need to stand firm and just let a cheater go, do not let him him make you feel guilty, or try to turn it around on you, or make it seem like that's not what happened. That's another thing I've seen men do, proof is right there in front of their faces and they are telling you that's not what happened. Baffles me every time, how sick in the head are you, to have your other girlfriend standing there with your girlfriend and you deny everything.Mind boggling, But that's what they try to do, they try to manipulate you, because they know if they can get one spec of doubt in your mind, they can bring you back in. Kinda like what a defense team does in a murder trial, if they can create just a little bit of doubt in a jurors mind, they have a chance of a not guilty verdict.

 There are times when a guy may come on to your best friend or friend and she tells you, you then go and ask your boyfriend about it and he tells you: she's just trying to mess things up for us, she's just jealous she wants what we have. What's so sick about this, is that some women actually believe this, the friend you have known for years who has never tried to go against you in anything,who has been there for you through everything, but your boyfriend who you've known for 2 months tells you that, and you believe. 

Its that mind control thing, it's like that one guy, you will just always have feelings for and no matter how shady the stuff is that he does to you, you just can't stay away. I don't know what it is about the guy who won't commit to you, but you keep waiting for him, when deep down you know he won't, it's just that love to chase thing, women won't admit it, but they just love that chase. You love the guy who wants you only when he wants you, but you crave for the day when he will need you and it is that, that keeps you going back.

When is enough, enough in a Relationship?

Many people I'm sure have battled with this, deciding when enough is enough  in their relationship. Different people have different capacities of how much they can take, some can take alot and some give up as soon as the road gets bumpy.  Having the same mistakes happen over and over again in a relationship can be maddening, it makes you feel as if your partner isn't trying,  and sometimes that is just it, they aren't trying.  I think there is so much that any one person can take, and if you feel like you are at your breaking point and you can't see anything changing, it's up to you, to make the decision if you want to leave or stay. I don't like the idea of telling anyone to end their relationship, but i will if i feel the need to, what i will say is, after you have tried everything possible to make it work and you see nothing happening, that would be a very difficult situation to cope with. But at the end of the day it's your life and only you can make the decision to leave or stay.


You've got to have a relationship with yourself and confidence in yourself to know when enough is enough. If you don't value yourself, who will? truth is nobody will get everything they want, it just doesn't happen, fairy tales don't exist, compromising does. You get enough to keep you happy, the scale should be unbalanced when it comes on to you being happy as opposed to being sad in your relationship. You have got to evaluate your life, ask yourself are you happy? are you satisfied? are there things in my life that could be better? communication and being open and honest with your partner does alot for a relationship. When you enter in a relationship you leave the i, me and mine at the door, everything becomes  us, we and ours, some people fail to do this, causing alot of problems in their relationships. They get caught up in self serving things, that affects their relationship in a negative way.


Nobody likes to be treated like they don't matter, or like they aren't important. Alot of things can make a relationship feel like a burden. Being controlling, name- calling, getting mad for everything without having a reason, making the same mistakes over and over again. You have got to ask yourself if your relationship is good or bad. Many times bad relationship can make you feel bitter, or you start to develop a I'm going to show you how it feels attitude and then your relationship get's even worse. Then you end up not wanting to be around your partner. I think when a person has had enough, what else is there to stay for,  you'll start asking yourself, how is being in this relationship benefiting me, I'm being beat down every day, I'm sad everyday, then ultimately their going to leave, there is so much that a human can take, we have a heart and feelings, we know when something is write for us, and when something is wrong, some people just choose to ignore those feelings, follow them, they usually aren't wrong.