Thursday, August 22, 2013

Why you Might be Having Trouble Getting Over him


No closure- This may possibly be one of the biggest reasons why getting over him is not so easy to do. You might have been the one to break if off with him. But if you felt as if you weren't given the opportunity to express how you felt, it can leave you feeling a bit cheated. Closure is especially important to women, maybe because we analyze everything. A part of being grown up and mature about a break up or separation, whatever kind it may be, is for each party to give the other the opportunity to put everything out on the table and discuss what each person is feeling. The key is to always be honest and to remember that he won't be your last love. I know sometimes we think because we were so in love with that person, that you can't have that again or something even better, you will be loved again and you will love again. You and your ex didn't work out for a reason, maybe it's because something better is out there for you.

The memories- It's hard to get someone out of your head who you cared about, but sitting around and thinking about them 24/7 will not help you to get over them. I know it's hard to shut your mind off, But you have control over your thoughts. Clear your mind, though it's not the worst thing to think about some of the good memories that you once shared, you have to learn to not dwell on them. Picturing him showing up at your door, or calling you and confessing his undying love for you will only keep you in a funk when it doesn't happen. If you know it's over, close the chapter and place it behind you.

Rejecting potential dates- Having a rebound relationship is not the best idea, you know when you are ready to get up and start dating again. Don't reject other men that could really be interested in you though. If the grieving period is longer than the actual relationship, something is wrong and you need to evaluate your issues. Take the time to get back up on your feet and give that guy a chance when the time is right. Don't date just as a pass time, do it beacuse you're ready to.

Keeping  yourself in a rut- The slobbing around the house, ignoring your friends calls and pleas to go out, months after you've broken up, will get you knowhere. You have to get out and find activities to do, keep yourself busy. Make new friends, hang out with your old friends. Find new and interesting things, do the things you loved, but neglected when you were with your ex. Get out and live your life. Listening to Adele's someone like you, will only make you think about him, listen to cheerful music, music that makes you wanna get up and dance and forget about your problems for a while.

Holding on to his stuff-  It can be hard letting go of his stuff that once held sentimental value and more than likely still do, but there comes a point when we have to let go. Sometimes we have to just delete the text messages, erase the numbers and move on. You need to get rid of his stuff, let go of the things that keep you tied to him. A part of moving on is letting go.

Talking about him- Constantly talking about him, I know it's hard to control, but you know when you're not completely over someone is when you constantly talk about them. It's a hard pill to swallow, because we so often try to convince ourselves and everyone around us that we're over it and he doesn't phase you anymore, but deep down you know he still does. The mind is a powerful thing, but you have to learn how to control it, you can't let it control you. We don't realize how much power we have in the ability to restrain ourselves from doing something we want not to do.

 

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