How to make up instead of Break up

If you notice most the fights that occur in relationships lead back to underlying factors that aren't really talked about. Sometimes your partner just wants a listening ear and not a problem solver, men and women tend to have this notion that they can fix anything.This can cause major problems in a relationship, especially if your partner isn't looking for that. take for example this dialogue between two people in a relationship.

Maggie: hey honey i had such a stressful day at work, i have a co-worker who  just has it out for me, i just wish she would just go away.

Tim: what kind of problems is she giving you .

Maggie: just little things she does, she just tries to get under my skin.

Tim: Well I'm sure its not that bad, just suck it up

Maggie: well you wouldn't even understand, you've never had a co-worker treat you like that, you have the easiest job to do, all you have to do is answer phones and you get paid, i have to deal with so many other things.

Tim: you don't realize all the sacrifices i make for this household.

 The argument goes on and on and on, while both are totally disregarding the underlying factors, that's contributing to the argument, Maggie is frustrated because she is tired and just wants someone to listen and  not try to fix it, while Tim is frustrated that he hasn't been able to find a better job so he has to take a minimum wage job and she's complaining about the great job that she has. One way to solve this is to sit down and talk about the underlying factors that causes frustration towards your partner. Arguments are healthy in a relationship, its when the arguments become too excessive, then the relationship becomes dysfunctional.

No person was made specifally for another person, we learn to compromise and work through problems by communicating, you are gonna dislike some things that your partner does, its natural. if you are happy  majority of the times and sadness creeps in every now and then, the relationship is a healthy one. You may feel frustrated in the middle of an argument, you may feel like you don't wanna be in the relationship anymore.But you will learn in every relationship you have problems, u might see happy pictures on facebook, but believe me, they have arguments too. If you think you can escape problems and frustrations by getting in a new relationship, all that does is give you new problems.So if your happy overall in the relationship, a fight here and there should not warrant a break up.

There is also the blame game, you blame each other for the cause of the fight," you caused this, no i didn't, you are the one that caused it," this gets you nowhere, nobody wants to take the blame for a argument, which is natural, most people don't wanna be wrong even when you know your wrong. But the best way to solve this, is to acknowledge what you did wrong and what you could have done better, this solves the problem completely, if both partners take a stance and  admit to what they did wrong, without putting the blame on each other, then the problem will be solved a lot quicker and a lot easier. This may not be very easy to do, especially in the middle of a fight, but if you focus on the love you have for your partner and you just wanna work through the fight, it can be done very easily. Just look at what exactly is causing you to be frustrated and discuss it.

 There is almost always an underlying issue that isn't resolved that causes continuous fighting. Remember an argument takes two people, if your partner says something to frustrate you, the worst thing you can do is say something that equals out the frustration,you shouldn't give in, but we all know this is hard to do, so if a argument does happen,don't play the blame game.
 
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud.