Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Can a woman change a man?

 The life long question for women, we like the idea of being able to change a man, because having one who does the right things is just too boring, its like an adventure for us women, it brings us excitement. But in all truth, no woman can make a man change if he doesn't wanna be changed. If you met him as a player he will probably die a player. But we just love the idea of being able to say " I changed him." On the contrary though, some women can make a man change, if a man meets a woman and she makes him wanna change then he'll change, but forcing a man to change is not the way to go, they have gotta want to change, in their own time and in their own way.

 If forced they will probably do what you want them to do, for a while, then they go right back to their old ways.Its like forcing a drug addict to go to rehab when he isn't ready to get clean, he goes, then a month later he's back on drugs, He's gotta really want to change. Its up to you though if you wanna put up with his mess until he decides to change, if you think he's worth it. If a man truly loves you, he will change for you.

The more years and experience he has acquired the harder it will be for him to change his bad habits, sometimes you get so overwhelmed and tired of his habits, when he's finally ready to change, you've already checked out. If years pass and you see no changes being made and things just keep getting worse, its not gonna work, just leave.

If you have young kids and your thinking about their well being and your absolutely miserable, leave before they remember both of you being together, the older they get, the harder it is for them. Life is too short for you to spend it unhappy with someone you see no change happening with. This may not be easy to do, but nothing in life is easy to do, if in the long run it will be worth it. Faith goes a long way and then there's common sense.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The 8 Types of Men

We all know there are different types of men, some that you might want to stay clear of, and some you wanna scoop up, marry and make babies with.

1. THE NICE GUY, otherwise known as the guy who finishes last,which is true in some sense,you might not get picked first,but they are the ones who will end up with the girl in the end.Women take time to realize that this is what they really want. This is the guy you want to marry and spend forever with. He opens doors, he treats you with respect, your family loves him, your friends love him.He won't be perfect though, everybody has things they need to work on, but he will make you happy.

 2. THE BAD BOY, a teenager girls dream, most teenagers have no clue what they want, so they become all infatuated with what they think they want, and base their thoughts about a guy solely on what he looks like and if he's cool," OMG, he has a motorcycle, that is so cool Jessica." He may cheat on you a million times and you still take him back. This is the type of guy that makes you say, WHAT WAS I THINKING!. Hey you  learn from experience, he also makes you realize the nice guy is what you really deserve.



3. THE PLAYER, now this dude probably has a whole lot of charm, slick and sly, he will make you feel like you are the only woman in the world, for the time being, until his antics start to wear on him and he becomes careless. Nobody can have several women at the same time and be able to give each the time that they need. It always catches up to them, that's why they always get caught, because they can't keep up, they slip up somewhere. If a man is neglecting you, spending all sorts of quality time with his "friends", he'll be like " baby why you mad, Jermaine needed me to stay over a couple days cause he broke up with his girlfriend , i got you some flowers though." Do not fall for that mess, he'll try to distract you by saying or doing something sweet. He was probably with one of his four  girlfriends.




4. THE SHY GUY, he may seem like the sweetest guy of them all, he will remind you of a little human teddy bear, so cute and cuddly. This is just in the beginning, the relationship will start to feel a little bit boring, he might be too shy to try new and adventurous things, he may probably want to do the same things over and over again, because he is afraid to do anything that he is not familiar with. He may be sweet in the beginning, but after a while the relationship will feel a little waa waa,washed out.




   5. THE NERD, now he may be the smartest out of the bunch, but he will be really hard to live with, because all his life, he had people make fun of him, so he continuously feels like he has to prove something to everybody, including his partner. He will be set in his ways and very OCD about everything that he does.




 6. THE OLDER MAN AKA THE SUGAR DADDY, he is the man that knows what a woman wants, he will take you shopping, buy you cars, open doors for you, takes you to all the fancy restaurants,five star hotels, all over the world. All the shenanigans will be great,but after all of that, the woman will end up leaving, because a woman wants love. But he tries to buy his love, he loves younger women and will never find someone who cares about him for whats inside, because he uses money to get what he wants.


7. THE YOUNGER MAN, older women are infatuated with this species. When a older woman gets with a younger man, most the times he just wants her to take care of him, he is looking for a sugar mama, who will wine and dine him, treat him like the woman in the relationship, after a while the woman, will hopefully come to her senses and realize that this is not gonna work.


8.THE OVERLY JEALOUS DUDE. Run!!! if you meet up on a guy like this, nothing else to say, this guy has some deep rooted issues and insecurities he has to work out on HIS OWN. You will feel stifled if you find yourself in a relationship like this, jealousy to the extreme comes with anger, you do not want to feel like your doing something wrong even when your not.You don't wanna be told you were checking out the guy around the cashier because you had to look at him to pay for your food, nobody wants to live like that.



















Monday, August 29, 2011

How to make up instead of Break up

If you notice most the fights that occur in relationships lead back to underlying factors that aren't really talked about. Sometimes your partner just wants a listening ear and not a problem solver, men and women tend to have this notion that they can fix anything.This can cause major problems in a relationship, especially if your partner isn't looking for that. take for example this dialogue between two people in a relationship.

Maggie: hey honey i had such a stressful day at work, i have a co-worker who  just has it out for me, i just wish she would just go away.

Tim: what kind of problems is she giving you .

Maggie: just little things she does, she just tries to get under my skin.

Tim: Well I'm sure its not that bad, just suck it up

Maggie: well you wouldn't even understand, you've never had a co-worker treat you like that, you have the easiest job to do, all you have to do is answer phones and you get paid, i have to deal with so many other things.

Tim: you don't realize all the sacrifices i make for this household.

 The argument goes on and on and on, while both are totally disregarding the underlying factors, that's contributing to the argument, Maggie is frustrated because she is tired and just wants someone to listen and  not try to fix it, while Tim is frustrated that he hasn't been able to find a better job so he has to take a minimum wage job and she's complaining about the great job that she has. One way to solve this is to sit down and talk about the underlying factors that causes frustration towards your partner. Arguments are healthy in a relationship, its when the arguments become too excessive, then the relationship becomes dysfunctional.

No person was made specifally for another person, we learn to compromise and work through problems by communicating, you are gonna dislike some things that your partner does, its natural. if you are happy  majority of the times and sadness creeps in every now and then, the relationship is a healthy one. You may feel frustrated in the middle of an argument, you may feel like you don't wanna be in the relationship anymore.But you will learn in every relationship you have problems, u might see happy pictures on facebook, but believe me, they have arguments too. If you think you can escape problems and frustrations by getting in a new relationship, all that does is give you new problems.So if your happy overall in the relationship, a fight here and there should not warrant a break up.

There is also the blame game, you blame each other for the cause of the fight," you caused this, no i didn't, you are the one that caused it," this gets you nowhere, nobody wants to take the blame for a argument, which is natural, most people don't wanna be wrong even when you know your wrong. But the best way to solve this, is to acknowledge what you did wrong and what you could have done better, this solves the problem completely, if both partners take a stance and  admit to what they did wrong, without putting the blame on each other, then the problem will be solved a lot quicker and a lot easier. This may not be very easy to do, especially in the middle of a fight, but if you focus on the love you have for your partner and you just wanna work through the fight, it can be done very easily. Just look at what exactly is causing you to be frustrated and discuss it.

 There is almost always an underlying issue that isn't resolved that causes continuous fighting. Remember an argument takes two people, if your partner says something to frustrate you, the worst thing you can do is say something that equals out the frustration,you shouldn't give in, but we all know this is hard to do, so if a argument does happen,don't play the blame game.
 
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud.












Saturday, August 27, 2011

He's just Not That Into You

Some women just want to be in a relationship and get married and live happily ever after, but they ignore the signs.

1.Women tend to be  more complicated than men, so we look for messages in everything a man does, the truth is a man doesn't really give mixed messages, if he doesn't call you after you gave him your number or after a first date, he's moved on to somebody else. If after a week he doesn't call, he isn't interested. Some women  make excuses as to why he hasn't called yet, "maybe this happened, maybe that happened." Nothing happened, he just doesn't wanna be with you, this can be tremendously hard to hear, especially if you liked the guy a lot. But its healthier to accept the obvious and move on.


2. So u met a guy and u probably text back and forth a few times a week, then all of a sudden he didn't get your text messages, then when you finally get a hold of him, the excuses start flowing in," oh i dunno what's wrong with my phone, i haven't seen any messages from you," or the " i didn't see any of your missed calls or voice mails". Men pull these cards regularly when they have no interest in a girl. He won't ever call you, but some women wanna hope it's something else, other than the obvious fact that, he's just not interested, or he has somebody else occupying his time.them  being men will not just come out and tell you he isn't into you, he'll just ignore you.


3.The I've been so busy card, there is no way he could be that busy where in one whole day, he didn't get even a 10 minute break. Any man tells you that, it is absolute bologna. if a guy is really into you, every chance he gets to hear your voice or see how you're doing, he'll take it.


4.The wondering eye, if your out with him and he keeps looking at other girls, this just means your not enough for him and he doesn't respect you enough to not do it. Some women tend to bypass this, in my experiences the guy is almost always going to end up cheating if he can't keep his eyes off other women. If a man shows that he doesn't care, he just doesn't care.


5. If he continuously talks about himself and not interested in anything you have to say about yourself. You will be talking then he just  buts in and tries to navigate the conversation back to the awesome person that he is. its like a mental thing, when a man just isn't into you he zones out. If you have to ask him on a regular basis what you said, honey he just isn't into you.


6.If a man doesn't let you know where he lives if you've been dating for over a month, he's not into you and doesn't introduce you to any of his closest friends, don't think this is gonna be a long term thing. He's thinking you're just for the moment.






Friday, August 26, 2011

How to Capture the Attention of the Right Guy

 The first way to get a guy is by feeding his ego, guys have huge egos and if you make him feel good about himself you will stick out in his mind. never be too forward or available, in other words don't make yourself look desperate, guys hate that.When a woman exuberates confidence a man can see that. nothing is sexier than a confident woman.

No one will have confidence in you if you don't have it within yourself and always wear a smile. If you think your gonna get noticed for wearing short skimpy outfits and being over the top flirtatious, of course you will! but you have to ask yourself, is this how i want myself to be seen? or the type of guy i want. You will never be taken seriously.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WEAR SKIMPY OUTFITS TO CAPTURE A MAN'S ATTENTION. Men are naturally visual human beings,they want someone who has a great personality and who also carries themselves well. Wear something that accentuates your body, find the one thing you love about your body and make it work for you, remember to always keep it classy and make sure you look well put together. Capture the eyes, then you capture the heart.

Subtle flirting is always a good thing, smile at him from across the room, make eye contact with him, once this has been engaged he will come over and talk to you.Notice his body language, if his posture is directly to you and his pupils dilate, he's interested. Keep the conversation going by asking him questions about himself, do not be afraid to give him compliments and if he returns the same gestures, he's into you.

One way to tell if he's disinterested, notice if he won't look you straight in the eyes and if he constantly looks to his right when he's asked a question, this translates to the left side of the brain which produces imagination, so you know he's lying. His voice will probably get a little high pitched and his posture will change, he probably won't face you directly. If this happens he is probably not the guy for you. If he looks to the left this translates in the right side of the brain which stores memories. Remember to keep him interested, talk about sports with him, but do not be afraid to be yourself. If you don't like sports that's fine, be honest with him, but make him feel comfortable to talk to you about it and listen to what he has to say, even if it isn't your favourite thing to talk about, compromise.


Thursday, August 25, 2011

5 Ways To Get Over a Breakup

A breakup can be a really hard thing to get over, here are 5 ways to help you get back to happiness.



1. You cannot be friends with him,there is no way this is going to work, calling him, showing up to places he might be, keeping the texts he sent you. all of this needs to be erased completely from your life, get a box and fill it with all the stuff that reminds you of him. if a song comes on the radio that brings back memories, change it, you have to completely dedicate yourself to moving on, if you want to be happy.Delete his phone number, delete his texts, do not check his social network page, block him.dispose of everything.

2.Go out with all your closest girlfriends, do not stay in the house moping around, nothing is worse than being at home alone with a broken heart, that is just a prescription for complete depression. keep active, go to the gym always have something to do that keeps your mind working and off him.

3. If you happen to see him, go the other way, avoid him completely. you do not want to go up to him and start a conversation, that's a no no.This can make you feel a million times worse, it would be like starting over all again.You are still gonna have feelings for him, going up and talking to him will only bring the feelings flowing back in and you do not want that.

4.Do not let yourself go, go get your hair done, go get your nails done and go shopping. if you happen to run in to him, in a unavoidable situation, make sure your looking good.

5.Last but not least go on dates, see what else is out there, nothing beats a breakup, but a new relationship.


The fears of Starting a New Relationship

let me start off by saying, there is no better way to get over an old relationship than by starting a new one, it takes away a lot of the pain and hurt. people often say, "I'm emotionally unavailable" or "I'm not ready", when will you know when your ready? life is about taking chances. Its about time people face the fact that men were made for women and women were made for men, we need each other, its just a fact. When we don't have one we miss them, because that's how it's suppose to be.

 Going into a new relationship can be somewhat scary, especially if you came out of one where your partner was a total jerk. It can  make you feel a little doubtful not knowing what to expect. some people stay single for years, afraid to step out and take a chance. They get lost in the theory of "what ifs"..." what if I get hurt", "what if he turns out to be a jerk" you will never know until you make a move. Women especially tend to over think things and worry, the best thing to do is to live in the moment, see how things progress, take things slow.

 There are four parts to a relationship: dating, courtship, engagement and marriage, if each step gets time to develop the relationship will turn out extremely well. Get to know someone first, go on a couple dates, see what the person is all about. after this part then a commitment can be made, whether this person is someone you can see yourself having a relationship with and make sure the feeling is mutual. make sure this gives you opt amount of time to get to know the person really well, so after the engagement, there should not be a long wait period before the marriage. I always say, if you don't know if you want to marry me after a year then it will not work, if your with me and I'm everything u want, what's stopping you from making that step.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The Cheater

If a man cheats on you, there is no way trust is going to be 100%.Things that never use to matter before will all of a sudden become a problem," I wonder where he is", "why is he friends with her"," what's wrong with me, wasn't I good enough." this in turn makes you feel insecure and makes you look crazy.

Never blame yourself for being cheated on, if your partner isn't happy, the right thing to do is to leave. Do not listen to anybody who tells you time heals all wounds, some just won't be healed as long as u stay in it.

Forgive and Forget is easier said than done! your head will tell you to leave, but your heart won't. One of the biggest thoughts that goes through a woman's head at this time is, "it was just one time", the thing is if he did it once, he will be compelled to do it again, don't get me wrong people can change, but especially if he is young, change may not come for a while, so if you make the decision to stay, just be prepared for more heartache.

The relationship will be changed drastically, you will long for it to be how it was before, but it will never go back to that, because you will always have a spec of doubt in the back of your mind, reinstating the fact that he may do it again. The thing is any man tells you he will never hurt you, just isn't true, his motive may not be to hurt you, but we are all human and we are going to make mistakes. If a man can say to you, I won't promise that I will never hurt you, but it will never be my intent , then u have a keeper.

 It just isn't realistic to think you will never hurt your partner, that just won't happen, whether it be by the words we say or the things we do, not everybody has the same interpretation of things, so it is not impossible for someone to be hurt by something said or done. what may not seem like a big deal to you may be a big deal to your partner. I'm not talking about cheating now, if  you cheat, you have the intent to do it, whether it be 5 minutes before it happens. You don't accidentally have sex with somebody, if you cheat you know it's going to hurt your partner, there is no justification for cheating!

Mistakes Teenage Girls Make

Teenage girls have too often gone down the wrong path because they didn't have a strong sense of value for themselves.
Teenage years can be the most confusing and hard times of a woman's life, during this age girls don't know the value of their bodies and their minds.Especially if grown up in a single parent household without a father or a strong father figure in the home, they tend to go elsewhere to get the attention and love they're not getting at home. Moving from relationship to relationship, sleeping around with different men, trying to fill that part of them that is missing.

Teenagers tend to live in the moment and consequences can sometimes seem non-existent to them. But the older a woman gets, she finds herself and realizes most the mistakes they made were avoidable. no parent can stop a child from making mistakes, but teaching them the right things and spending quality time with them will not do any harm. For parents it may seem awkward to talk to your child about sex,but if they don't learn it from home, where are they gonna learn it? Don't just tell them "don't have sex", explain to them why it is important to preserve their bodies for the right person who will respect, marry and love them.Time for the remix,Lets be real,every child will not stay away from sex,its just a fact.

Acknowledging this is just reality,teaching about the different sexually transmitted diseases and contraceptives is another way to go.Society has come a far way and most of our values have gone with the wind, but its up to parents to instill in their kids the right morals and values.Teenagers may not always listen, because this is such a defiant and experimental time in their lives, but this is the time they need the most guidance.It is impossible to never make a mistake,but really big ones can be avoided.